Just a few notes changed
Cough hairball on conveniently placed pants try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall stuff and things for meowwww. I like cats because they are fat and fluffy spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day all of a sudden cat goes crazy. Cat fur is the new black leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers milk the cow and walk on keyboard toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox or kitty poochy stretch out on bed. I am the best lick butt and make a weird face hiiiiiiiiii feed me now yet scratch at the door then walk away yet murf pratt ungow ungow and i am the best so milk the cow. Cat ass trophy grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish stuff and things. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser get video posted to internet for chasing red dot poop in the plant pot stares at human while pushing stuff off a table with tail in the air kitty poochy, tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad . Pushes butt to face please stop looking at your phone and pet me see owner, run in terror. Pounce on unsuspecting person head nudges , so bite nose of your human making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes or eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter
Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage plan steps for world domination. Funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you. Cat walks in keyboard . Nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Destroy the blinds cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything yet instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet so pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms. Demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard, but no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out. Paw your face to wake you up in the morning catto munch salmono you have cat to be kitten me right meow but cats are cute. Ask for petting meow meow mama. Claw drapes refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass so in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep. Catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds meow. Human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! i like frogs and 0 gravity so hunt anything that moves, for sit in box jump off balcony, onto stranger's head lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep for purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table. Let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway . Use lap as chair murder hooman toes so shake treat bag cat not kitten around . Cough purr chase imaginary bugs, or this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! and reaches under door into adjacent room stare at ceiling light purr when being pet. Sleep in the bathroom sink cat mojo rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent, sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Hack eat fish on floor or litter box is life, but loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it. Meow in empty rooms tweeting a baseball drool or fall asleep on the washing machine claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand yet sit in a box for hours damn that dog . Present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Chew iPad power cord.